


Constellations

by SpaceWaffleHouseTM



Series: One Shots from the Waffle House [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Did I mention the fluff, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Force Bond, Mild Angst, Post TLJ, Stargazing, explicit hand holding, force skyping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 02:58:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15257919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceWaffleHouseTM/pseuds/SpaceWaffleHouseTM
Summary: The force connects them while Rey is star gazing, the conversation that ensues goes beyond what either of them could have imagined.





	Constellations

**Author's Note:**

> Aight so I finally wrote a one shot for this pairing, figured it was about time. Enjoy some fluff.

She found the field two miles from the resistance’s newest base when they’d first touched ground several hours prior. The second the Falcon was close enough to the surface for her to see it clearly, Rey was leaping at the chance to run through all that luscious looking green grass; to lie down in it as she gazed up at the sunset or the stars. At least, that’s what she was hoping for if she ever got a moment alone.

Mercifully, that moment came when everyone else was sound asleep in bed after lights out. There was technically a curfew, since they didn’t want anyone getting lost in the night, but Rey figured she could handle herself, so with a little usage of the force and a stealthy pair of feet she snuck out of the base and made her way to the field.

She thoroughly enjoyed the way the leaves of the forest crunched under her boots as she moved, the way the breeze moved her hair back, and caused the folds of the fabric she’d draped over her tunic to flap silently within it. The scene was already so serene, so peaceful, and so much less stressful than the atmosphere that had haunted the resistance wherever they went in the two months since Crait. She’d needed a break from everything for weeks now. There was no telling when she’d get another opportunity to escape for a few minutes. She needed this, she reminded herself as she pressed further into the woods.

Eventually, she came upon a clearing in the tall, green leafed trees edged by a series of bright pink flowers with a hint of bioluminescence at their edges. Beyond it was the very field she’d encountered earlier, and the Falcon was parked at the far end at the bottom of the hill, obscured from sight by a rather tall series of bushes.

Rey walked out into the dusk that had settled upon the field, the only light guiding her being that of the stars, the glowing flowers, and a distant, waxing crescent moon. The whole scene was illuminated in a dim lavender that cast an eerie glow on her surroundings, but she didn’t mind the atmosphere as she sat down in the grass, which stood a few inches above the ground to where it couldn’t obscure her view of the rather breathtaking night sky.

Above her was the most brilliant gathering of constellations and galaxy haze she’d ever seen. Stars of various sizes and even colors twinkled in the blackness above her, and she found herself wanting to reach out and touch them the longer she stared up at them. As she laid down upon the field of grass, she began to create shapes with them in her mind. In one she saw the Millenium Falcon racing into hyperspace. In another she formed Han and Chewie, standing side by side as they bickered in an argument. Nearby to that one she conjured the image of a porg, and the island on Ahch-To.

She was so lost in the simple joy of star gazing, she almost didn’t notice when the force hummed around her—a noise that had almost become white at this point—and she could suddenly feel another presence lying beside her on the grass. “I don’t want to do this.”

“Do I really have to tell you again that I don’t have a choice either, sweetheart?” His voice boomed in her mind, and yet it still failed to contain the malice she’d been expecting to hear for two months now.

She still groaned as she did her best to avoid looking at him, the breeze once again blowing a stray strand of her hair from her forehead as they resumed sitting in silence. Over the past two months, the force had continued to connect them, much to their annoyance, and they’d usually exchange a few words of rude banter before they went back to ignoring each other until the bond disconnected. She suspected that this time would be no different.

“Why is there a breeze?”

“What?”

“I’m trying to sleep, but the damn wind wherever you are is making that impossible.”

“Oh.”

“Are you outside?”

She nodded, not caring whether or not he was actually looking at her, “Stargazing. I needed a moment of peace, which _you’re_ interrupting.”

Ben—or shouldn’t she call him Kylo, now? He’d made his choice—made a smug sound as he shifted on the ground beside her. The sound of silky sheets rubbing together as he wrapped them more tightly around himself filled her ears, interrupting the silence of the breeze and the distant calling of a wild animal in the serene planet she was currently lying down upon.

She had yet to look in his direction, but she could tell he was close. His warmth radiated from him, and she could almost feel the fabric of his night clothes as they ghosted the bare skin of her arm. A sigh left his lips then, followed shortly after by a chuckle, prompting her to ask him just what was so funny.

“That’s the first conversation we’ve had since I asked you to join me,” he replied, his breathing shaking a little as he exhaled, the slight echo in his voice oddly comforting as she stared up at the infinite expanse of space.

It hit her fairly quickly that he was right. Sure, they’d talked since the battle on Crait, since she’d shut the Falcon’s door on his face and made where they stood perfectly clear, but those words had only been variations of, “fuck off,” or, “put some clothes on for fuck’s sake.” None of them had ever been real, multi-lined bits of dialogue where they said things to each other. They’d never even so much as discussed their annoyances with one another like they were doing now.

“Well, maybe we’d talk more often if you weren’t the _supreme leader,”_ she replied, “Of the order I’m fighting.”

“Or if you’d just come with me that day instead of joining a lost cause,” he retorted, his voice snappish as he spoke to her.

She felt her own breathing shudder at his words. They were just another reminder of how wrong she’d been about him. Luke had been right after all, it had definitely not gone the way she thought. “It’s not lost.” Somewhere deep in the pit of her stomach though was a seed of doubt at what she’d just told him. As much as she always tried to let Leia’s words about hope guide her, the resistance’s current state frequently gave her pause. Each time it did she found herself wondering just how different it all would’ve been if he’d gone with her. Hell, sometimes she even wondered what would’ve happened if she’d gone with _him._

“Isn’t it?” His voice boomed through their connection again, though it was lower than it had been a moment prior. It was almost a whisper as he sighed, “Rey…”

Her name from his lips sent a chill down her spine, and for a second she was tempted to turn and look at him, to see what expression was plastered on Ben’s always revealing face. The temptation passed as quickly as it had come, though, and she kept her gaze trained on the stars. “We can stop talking now, we both know this conversation won’t go anywhere.”

“What makes you so sure?”

She’d pictured it in her head a thousand times. That’s how she was sure. Every time the force had connected them over the last two months she’d wondered if either of them would say anything, if they’d talk about what had happened on Crait—on the Supremacy. She always imagined that they’d immediately slip into some sort of argument, and just like in her daydreams, they had. She would always try to convince him there was light in him, and he’d always try to convince her that they were destined to be trapped in darkness. It was always an endless cycle of screaming and shouting and anger, which despite the tense subject matter of their present conversation, they had yet to fall into. No, their tones had remained hushed, relaxed, even quiet. It was as if they were both purposefully working to avoid that verbal war with each other, like it felt wrong to fight against the person lying beside them.

There was another pause, then she felt Ben shift, one of his arms brushing hers faintly as he crossed them over his chest. A tension hung in the air between them, and a sense of anxiety filled the bond as he finally spoke, “I meant what I said.”

“About?”

“Letting the past die.”

She shook her head, “Don’t.” Inhaling through her teeth, she clenched a fist tightly, and released it as she calmed herself down. “If we have to talk, can we please talk about something else?”

Ben scoffed beside her, “Like what?” He asked, and through the bond she could feel his eyes flicker in her direction, though they didn’t linger on her form for too long, “What could you and I possibly have to talk about?”

Nothing came to her mind just then. The only time they’d ever talked about anything when it didn’t end in tragedy was when they’d sat by the fire together. They were just as alone then as they were in that moment, and she wondered briefly how their conversation would end if Luke weren’t there to interrupt.

She didn’t know what else she wanted to discuss with him, even though she’d been the one to suggest the conversation in the first place. Regret settled in as she shrugged, “Maybe it’d be better if we just stuck with not talking at all.”

“You may be right.” His soft voice faded back into silence, and for another long moment, it was just him, Rey, and the stars.

In the quiet that had fallen over them, Rey continued making shapes out of the glowing, far off gas giants. As they lay beside one another, she found a constellation in the shape of a lightsaber, the blue stars composing the blade reminding her of the one they’d broken two months ago.

A lump formed in her throat at the thought. They’d been so close to coming together, to bringing him back to the light and ending the damned war, and just when she’d thought they’d pull through… she’d been horribly wrong. Tears welled in her eyes as she spotted him amongst the constellations she was drawing for herself, and not the helmeted Kylo Ren she’d first met, but the bare face of Ben Solo. There were even two red stars where his scar would be, the very scar she’d given him not so long ago.

She wondered what it looked like now.

As the time went on, the tension continued to develop between them. The urge to say something, _anything_ to him was growing overwhelming even though she had no earthly clue as to what she’d talk about. If she were being honest, the second she opened her mouth, all that came out was likely to be a scream.

Mercifully, Ben spoke first, and he was certainly not screaming as he asked her, “You said you were stargazing?”

She nodded, not caring if he wasn’t looking and didn’t see it, “I am.”

“All I can see is my ceiling,” he muttered, “... what does it look like?”

“Is that what you want to talk about? The bloody stars?”

Another sigh left Ben’s lips, “Do you have any other ideas, Jedi?” he asked, his voice as bitter as the emotions he reflected across their bond, “We need something to fill the time until this ends. It’s better than nothing.”

“We managed silence for two months, I think we can handle five more minutes,” she replied, trying her hardest not to think about the time that they’d somehow been connected for five _hours_ lest she jinx herself.

He was frozen beside her, then he let out whatever breath he’d been holding, “We’ve been _alone_ for two months.”

“Your point?”

“Why don’t we change that for five minutes? Just until we disconnect, then you never have to speak to me again.”

She took a minute to think about his offer. The last two months, despite being surrounded by people, had been the two loneliest months of her life. Every day she’d talk to her friends and still somehow feel like she was completely alone. In rooms that were filled with people, something always felt empty and hollow, like it wasn’t real. Whenever the force connected them like it was in that moment, those times were the closest she’d get to feeling like she was actually in the company of another person. Lying there in the grass and actually talking with him made her feel less like she was torn in half, and more like she’d been taped together again.

“Okay,” she said after a while, “What do you want to know?”

“What do they look like?”

_Beautiful,_ she thought, _tranquil, peaceful, calming, enchanting,_ and a whole other list of adjectives she couldn’t quite voice out loud. “They’re just stars, Ben, you know what they look like.”

He hummed his assent, then she felt him shake his head in the grass beside her, “Not the ones you’re seeing.”

A groan left her lips, then she lifted her arm, and pointed at them, “It’s stupid, really, but I’ve been making shapes out of them.”

“It’s not stupid,” He replied, and suddenly she could feel the back of his hand brush the back of hers. His hand was bare once more, just like it was when they’d talked by the fire. She could feel its warmth flooding her own skin where they’d made contact, and his breath hitched slightly beside her.

This time, she did spare him a glance out of the corner of her eye, only to find him staring up at the sky in wonder, as if he could see precisely what she was seeing. Like he was actually lying by her side instead of light years away. His expression reflected the way the scenery had made her feel upon its initial discovery, and as she watched, his features softened into an expression of contentment.

“I… I see it,” he replied, “It’s faint, almost out of focus, but… I see it.”

The corners of her mouth twitched into the hint of a smile, which she quickly snuffed out as she turned her eyes back on the sky above. She swallowed quietly, then she raised her finger again, “See that group of three blue ones over there?”

“Yeah, I do,” he replied, “What’s that one?”

“The lightsaber we broke.”

A chuckle escaped him then, so faint that she almost didn’t notice, and had she been further away she would’ve missed it entirely. But she did hear it, and this time she didn’t try to hide the smile that rose to her face at the sound. She did, however, push back the thought that Ben Solo had a nice laugh, and there was a large part of her that yearned to hear it again. For the moment, she elected to ignore it, as the other part of her was still overwhelmingly mad at him.

Ben’s curiosity filtered in through the bond then, and out of the corner of her eye she saw him raise a black-sleeved arm to the sky, and begin to point out a constellation of his own, “There’s an x-wing,” he said, “It’s not very clear, but on my end it looks like an x-wing.”

A thought occurred to Rey just then as Ben talked about the constellation he’d created, and she pressed her hand ever so slightly more into his. Suddenly, she could see the faint outlines of his bedroom of whatever ship he was on. Her vision was now lined with various tones of gray and black that fit perfectly with everything she knew about him. Beneath her, she could feel the ground shift to match that of a soft, well-cushioned mattress from whatever bed he slept on, and she felt her entire body grow warmer from the artificial heat.

The warmth was only made stronger when she felt his fingers wandering in the dark, and eventually his hand wrapped around hers, their fingers lacing together as Rey’s heart hammered loudly in her chest. A blush no doubt crept up her cheeks as she felt his own slightly embarrassed excitement at the contact through their bond. But after a moment she felt nothing but serenity washing over them both, as if somehow, for however brief a time, the joining of their hands made everything right with their worlds.

Yet through it all, even as their respective surroundings changed, the stars remained the same, still shining brightly overhead in a vibrant array of colors. The constellations were more vivid than ever before as they watched, and Rey found herself gripping his hand more tightly as she leaned toward him to point out the constellation she’d found that resembled him.

“That one’s you,” she told him, “See? There’s your big, dramatic cape. Those two red stars? They’re your scar.”

“Thanks for that,” he mumbled sarcastically, and she was unable to help the giggle that escaped her lips at the statement.

“You deserved it,” she replied plainly, then she continued pointing out pieces of the constellation, feeling his eyes on the end of her pointer finger the entire time she spoke. “There’s your hair, and those four on the end? That’s your saber.”

“Do you have any others?”

She thought for a moment, then she pointed to a cluster of stars to their right, “There’s the Falcon racing into hyperspace,” she said, noticing a twinge of sadness in the bond as she mentioned his father’s ship, “And just beyond that, there’s a porg.”

“What the hell is a porg?”

A fit of borderline hysterical laughter left her, “There were these… birds… on the island. They were absolutely everywhere.”

“Oh.”

“What about you? What do you see?”

There was another moment of silence, and she could sense his mind swirling with thoughts. Mental images of the constellations flooded her mind as he pondered the endless sea of black, then after a while, his free hand entered her field of vision again. “There’s you,” he told her, pointing to a grouping of stars just above their heads.

It took her a second or two, but eventually she saw exactly what he was pointing out. There she stood amongst the light years, standing tall and proud with her staff in hand, and three buns holding back her hair. A smile rose to her face at the sight, and for the first time in the entire conversation, she turned her head to look at him.

Ben was staring up at the sky with a similar look of wonder on his face to the one on her own, though his was a great deal more subtle. Behind his expression was the underlying sadness and anger she could always sense within him, and it tugged at her heartstrings to see. She knew she wasn’t supposed to feel sympathy. She knew he was supposed to be her enemy, but something about trying to hate him felt wrong.

After a moment, she knew he felt her gaze, and his head turned so that he was facing her now as well. The stars, the grass, the field, and all the tranquility was forgotten under his stare as his eyes locked with hers. For a few seconds she forgot to breathe as she took in all the pain and longing in his eyes, and she shifted anxiously.

Ben’s own nerves were flooding their connection as she watched his mouth twitch in that specific way that only he always did. His eyes drifted down briefly, then back up to hers, the glance too brief for her to spot just what he was looking at.

“What?” She asked him softly, hoping she wouldn’t get a vague answer to her vague question.

“Nothing,” he replied, “Just… this is the first time you’ve looked at me without malice or hate in your eyes since...”

“You think I hate you?”

“You’ve barely spoken to me in months, Rey,” he said, his voice almost a whisper.

She scoffed, and turned her head back to the sky, “That doesn’t mean I hate you.” Her own voice trembled slightly, and suddenly she was hyper aware of their entwined hands as his thumb brushed gently over hers. Ben’s eyes were still on her as she took in her next breath, and continued, “I know I’m supposed to, but I don’t. I don’t know if I ever did.”

With that said, Rey turned to him again, only to find him smirking slightly as his free hand pointed to the scar on his face. A light chuckle left her, but she quickly sobered herself, “Maybe a little bit at the beginning.”

“That’s what I thought.”

They both laughed at this, then Ben looked down at their joined hands, and she felt him squeeze hers ever so slightly, “I promised Luke I’d destroy you,” he admitted.

Tentatively, she followed his gaze to where his hand clasped hers, “Will you?”

He shook his head, “I can’t.”

Their eyes locked again at this, and Rey shivered slightly. Whether it was from the cold or her own nerves she wasn’t sure, but she could only hope she’d successfully hidden it from him.

When Ben frowned, she knew she’d failed, and she groaned her disappointment as he let go of her hand and turned, teaching for something she couldn’t see until he was wrapping the black fabric around her upper half. She sat up upon realizing it was his cowl, and gave him a hesitant look, which he returned with a nod as she secured it around herself before lying back down. “Thank you.”

He smirked slightly, “You’re welcome,” he replied, then without saying another word, he rejoined their hands, and they continued staring up at the stars.

For the next several minutes, neither of them said anything, but both were increasingly aware of the other’s presence. Rey wondered when the force would end this latest connection between them; if this was going to last just five more seconds or if they’d have another five hours together. There was no way of knowing as the time passed them slowly, and the bond never wavered.

“You’re still here,” she heard him say after a good ten minutes of just lying there.

“I am,” she replied, turning back to face him.

“Looks like we’ll have to deal with each other for a little while longer, then.”

The corners of her mouth twitched into a smile, “I don’t know, you’re not…”

“What?”

“You’re not that awful.”

“Oh?” Ben let go of her hand, and turned on his side to face her completely then, and she shrugged before doing the same. The movements made them far too close to one another for her liking, but if he wasn’t moving away, then neither was she.

“I think if we weren’t the last Jedi and the supreme leader, we’d…” Suddenly the end of that sentence intimidated her. It wasn’t that she was uncertain of where it would go, it was that she was terrified of voicing  it out loud. It took her a second to come up with an ending that wouldn’t terrify the both of them as she took in a shaky breath, “We’d... probably get on, you and me.”

He laughed slightly into a pillow she could just make the faintest outline of, the sound creating a funny sort of knot in her gut as a blush crept up on her cheeks. She could only hope he couldn’t see it in the cover of the darkness. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything about it, instead, his expression sobered as he looked at her, “You’re probably right.”

The breeze blew past them then, blowing a dark curl out of his eyes so she could see him clearly, and she felt her breath hitch. “But what would we be if we weren’t… us?”

That damned smirk appeared again, and she wondered if he was trying to drive her insane as he let go of her hand to cross his arms over his chest, “If we weren’t us?” he repeated, “Do you always have such eloquent phrasing?”

She reached up her newly freed hand to scratch her head, “That sentence got away from me, yeah.”

This time they laughed together, the sound blending with the brushing of the wind on the grass nearby, and almost harmonizing with the call of a distant bird in the woods. “But what would we be?”

“I’m not sure,” he replied, then he shook his head, “That’s a broad question.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“I can tell you this, though. My face would look a little different.”

Unlike the last joke he’d cracked, she found she didn’t laugh as she looked upon his face, she noticed the scar she’d created. She wasn’t sure what compelled her to do it, but she reached up a free hand and caressed him where she’d cut into him months earlier. This time, it was his breath that caught in his throat, and she felt a smirk hiding behind her own features, not minding having that sort of effect on him at all.

“I don’t know,” she told him, “I kind of like it.”

“Really?” His gaze was disbelieving, and his voice sarcastic as he quirked an eyebrow.

“It suits you.”

Again she watched his eyes drift down, though this time it was a lot more obvious where he was looking as his stare lingered, and she shivered--this time it was definitely not from the cold. This had certainly not been where she thought her night was going. In fact, she had been intending to leave by that point, but the conversation seemed to have thrown the both of them into a spin.

Rey tried to summon the courage to speak, but all she found herself saying was one word, “Ben…” as her own line of sight drifted in a similar manner. They were already so close. Their faces were inches apart at most, and this close up she could see every tiny, miniscule detail. She could almost create more constellations out of the little marks on his face, each one complimented by the scar she’d left him that one day she had no doubt she’d wind up apologizing for.

A part of her wondered what he was thinking as they began to move ever so slightly closer together, and his hand rested on her waist as a flurry of his emotions filled their bond. She could sense his anticipation and fear, but also a sort of delight that matched the exact feelings she was experiencing within herself. As they closed the inches between, her eyes fell shut, and as the breeze blew past them again she would swear she’d never felt more content. It was as if the last element of perfect repose fell into place.

Her heart had never raced faster as she felt the ghost of his touch on her lips. They still hadn’t come together yet, but the tension in the air between them had never been higher.

The initial coming together of their lips was so soft, so tentative and hesitant, she thought she must have imagined it, but as Ben’s lips opened to welcome hers she knew she hadn’t. Their first kiss was short and sweet, and after only a few seconds they pulled away, and Rey looked between his eyes as she tried to assess his reaction to it.

Ben seemed to be doing the exact same thing as she was, and she gave him a nod as she felt his concern slip through their bond. A small smile appeared at the corner of his mouth, then he wrapped his arm securely around her waist so that his hand supported her back as he kissed her again, this time a bit deeper and more intense than the last.

She quickly took initiative, sliding her hand back from caressing his cheek to find its grip within his hair as she pulled him to her. He responded in kind, deepening the kiss as he used the grip on her back to pull her on top of him, her torso covering his as he laid back into the grass—well, for him it was likely a mattress, but she wasn’t exactly focused on that minor detail at the moment.

When the force had first connected them that night, she’d expected for them only to argue and bicker at most. She hadn’t expected them to actually talk, nor had she ever thought they’d wind up doing something children did. Yet he’d sat there with her pointing out made up constellations and laughing like they were old friends. Still, even with the miles they’d walked in their personal relationship that night, she’d never seen _this_ coming. She had never thought that the night would end in the most soft, tender, and yet intense kiss she’d ever experienced in her lifetime.

She’d certainly never thought it would happen with _him._ Sure, there had been moments since the bond had first formed that she’d thought she might harbor some sort of attraction toward him, but she’d always shoved it aside. He was supposed to be her enemy, and yet they’d both just admitted they didn’t actually hate each other. A part of her suspected that it may have even been the opposite.

Ben’s arms both wrapped around her waist as he kissed her, seeming unwilling to let her go even as the two of them came up for air. They came apart as slowly and hesitantly as they’d come together, and as he looked up at her through hooded eyes one of her hands came up to rest on his chest, feeling his own heart race beneath her palm.

“I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to do _that_ with your enemy,” Ben joked, and Rey giggled helplessly, resting her forehead against his.

“No,” she replied, “Definitely not.”

“What does this make us, then?” he asked, but she didn’t know the answer.

Slowly, she shifted so she was lying beside him again, though he kept an arm wrapped around her as her head rested on his chest, and she sighed, “I don’t know, but we can’t keep fighting each other. Something… Something has to change.”

“Agreed.”

“But can we talk about it later?” she asked quietly, looking back up at him. There was just too much for them to unload in one night; too much for them to figure out in just one conversation, and she had no desire to ruin the near perfect moment they’d created in the dark of the night.

“Yeah,” he replied, then he smirked, “Maybe we shouldn’t talk about anything at all.”

Rey grinned at him as she slid her hand back up to where she’d touched his scar moments earlier, “Agreed,” she repeated, then she kissed him again until the force ended the connection a few minutes later. When she left the field, she felt as if she were floating as she walked back to the Resistance base with his cowl still wrapped tightly around her shoulders. Briefly, she spared a look back at the stars, staring up at the constellations they'd created of each other with a smile on her face. She then tugged the cowl around herself a little tighter, and walked quietly back inside the base.


End file.
